Apologies & Mending Friendships

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

- Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

This summer, I decided it was time to mend some broken friendships and say "I'm sorry" to people I've hurt in the past. Definitely not an easy task.

My friends and I in middle school.

The first person I decided to talk to was an ex-roommate. We had a disagreement that ended in "I don't want to be friends anymore." I let it cool off for a few months. I wanted to make sure I was 110% prepared to talk to her again, and not say anything I don't mean to. I sent her a long apology email and mentioned the fact that I could care less if she responded. She mentioned she never wanted to see me again a few months before, so I assumed she wouldn't even read the email. She responded within a week or so. We are now on speaking terms again and speak every day (almost). I explained to her how hurt I was, and she understood.

The second person? A girl from high school. We were friends from about fifth grade until maybe eighth grade year. Long story short: she got a new boyfriend, didn't hang out with the girls, boyfriend breaks up with her, and she comes running back wanting comfort from her girlfriends. I was the only one in our group of girls that didn't go back to her. I guess I wanted to tell her she hurt me by me just ignoring her. So childish and immature, but hey, we were in middle school. It's been a long time coming for me to formally apologize for how I acted.

Third? Another girl from high school. This was by far the hardest person to apologize to. Why? I had a boyfriend in middle school into high school. We were together for almost 2 years. My most serious relationship, and honestly, I thought we would be getting married after high school. He broke up with me because of my depression and suicidal tendencies (I will discuss this topic in another post). Within a few months, he went out with another girl in our grade. I was so heartbroken. I ended up taking all of my jealousy for her and ended up turning it into hate towards her. It was so bad, we almost got physical a few times senior year (she was also a basketball manager with me). That email, by far, was the best one I sent. It made me feel SO much better. That had been bottled up inside of me since freshman year in high school.

Yes, all of them are girls. Girls are so full of drama, it's ridiculous. All of that bottled up "hate" was being held up inside of me for years. I say "hate", because I don't hate anyone. Just a strong anger against them I guess.

Do you have anyone you should apologize to? I'm not your mom or anything, but you'll seriously feel better if you tell them how you feel. Tell them what happened, how they hurt you and that you're sorry for how things turned out. Luckily, email makes it so easy to do that. It definitely would have taken a lot more strength for me to call those ladies up on the phone. I could have done it, but it would have taken a few more months before I finally had the courage to do it.